i used to think
that people who said “love doesnt exist”, had just never been in love…
but recently I’ve started to think that maybe that’s actually true.
or at least, love doesnt exist in the way people think it does, the way they want it to. but most of the time not at all. especially with romantic love.
people are mostly interested in themselves. and i dont mean that in a bitter, “oh i hate people” way, it’s more in just a factual, thoughtful way. it’s true. not saying it’s bad or good… it’s just the way it is. people need each other to love themselves, they need to FEEL like they are loved, they need to feel like the person they hold dear, that they are obsessed with, that they fantasize over, that they idolize, likes them or loves them back. but it’s to feel better about ourselves, not simply for the sake of love.
which is why i feel the only loves that can be pure or “real” are friendships. not the kind of friendships like, “oh you didnt call me back yesterday I’m pissed at you cuz I NEEDED YOU FOR SOMETHING” or the kind (obviously) that is like “hey wanna hang out with me im bored and cant be alone”… but the kind of friendships that are like… “you are a beautiful person and therefore i love you. you are my friend and i want nothing from you other than your own happiness.” i think i have one maybe two people i feel that way with.